that first date though

So I actually went. Jon and I got dinner and it was… weird. Good weird, but still. We haven’t sat across from each other like that without a kid between us or lawyers breathing down our necks since maybe 2018. I wore the 60s mod dress I planned to wear, threw on way too much black eyeliner, and just braced myself. He was so nervous, which honestly made me feel a lot better. We didn’t even talk about the divorce or the 2019 mess. We just talked about the kids, mostly, and he brought up Dawson’s Creek of all things because he saw Katie Holmes on some magazine cover. It felt like I was 20 again, chatting with my internet boyfriend on Yahoo. I don’t know where this is going, and I’m trying not to overthink it. The 22-year-old gave me this completely unreadable look when I got home, but she didn’t say a word. Just handed me a mug of tea and went to her room. So yeah. I’m cautiously optimistic, even if my stomach is doing gymnastics.