another holiday I completely ignored.

I skipped the fireworks entirely this year. With the state of the world right now, celebrating feels hypocritical, and honestly, I just didn’t have the energy. The boys went to their friends’ houses, and the 22-year-old was busy painting her new apartment, so I was actually alone on the 4th. Jon didn’t even text. Not a word. I sat on the fire escape in my favorite black velvet slip dress, smoked a cigarette I promised myself I quit five years ago, and just watched the city. I survived cancer, I can survive a man pulling away, but God it is frustrating. I hate feeling like I am waiting around for someone to decide if I am worth their time.